So, has anyone ever had that thing happen where the film industry finally stops being mean to you and decides to make a movie based on that Tain bo Cuailnge thing you love so much (aka, the battle epic that leaves the Iliad crying like a three-year-old with a scraped knee in the wake of its insanity)?

And then you find out that they’re going to have your favorite ridiculously overpowered teenage Celtic demigod played by a person you really do not want playing your favorite ridiculously overpowered teenage Celtic demigod?

Because, while I’m several months behind on the news, that just happened.

Gliding over the the whole Fassbender domestic abuse thing that I REALLY DON’T WANT TO THINK ABOUT at the moment, did we all just sort of forget that Cu Chulainn was an elfish prettyboy seventeen-year-old in the Tain? Because that was kind of a thing in the Tain, what with Medb being all, “What, so this big legendary badass Fergus is so scared shitless about is just some little elf-boy with a pointy stick? Pfft, like that’s going to do anything against my vast, peerless ar-MOTHER OF FUCKING BALOR, WHEN DID THIS SEA OF BLOOD AND SEVERED HEADS REPLACE MY ARMY!?”

So yeah, I’m not allowed to have nice things.

So, apparently Emiya has been taking fashion tips from shirtless, leather-clad werewolves.

Discuss.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the ultimate in Viking problem solvers

“Well, O master Sualtaim,” said Cuchulain; “the thought of the host is fixed sharp upon me to-night, so do thou depart for us with warnings to the men of Ulster, that they remain not in the smooth plains but that they betake themselves to the woods and wastes and steep glens of the province, if so they may keep out of the way of the men of Erin.” “And thou, lad, what wilt thou do?” “I must go southwards to Temair to keep tryst with the maid of Fedlimid Nocruthach (‘of the Nine Forms’) Conchobar’s daughter, according to my own agreement, till morning.” “Alas, that one should go on such a journey,” said Sualtaim, “and leave the Ulstermen under the feet of their foes and their enemies for the sake of a tryst with a woman!” “For all that, I needs must go. For, an I go not, the troth of men will be held for false and the promises of women held for true.”

A quick translation into modern language:

“Cu Chulainn, Fergus just told me that Medb’s forces are coming to Ulster to fuck everyone’s shit up and steal a cow.”

“Shit, that sucks, dad. You better go warn all our guys then.”

“And what exactly are you going to be doing?”

“Going over to some place to bang this chick who isn’t my wife. God, I love open marriages.”

“Our land is about to be invaded while everyone’s screwed up from that (in)conveniently timed curse, and you - our only hope at this point - are going to just skip town to have sex?”

“Yep, pretty much. Can’t leave a girl waiting.”

“… Fine.”

And then Cu Chulainn skips town to have sex, because it’s not the Ulster Cycle unless Cu Chulainn has crazy amounts of sex in it.

CELTIC MYTHOLOGY, EVERYONE!

(But it’s okay, because then he comes back and single-handedly owns the fuck out of Medb’s army, killing about a hundred a day before taking pity and challenging them one-by-one to single combat so they don’t lose quite as pathetically to him. MURDER SOLVES ALL PROBLEMS!)

I maintain that They’re Made out of Meat is the best sci-fi story regarding aliens ever.

echosnsecrets:

captainziggy:

As it turns out, DC’s executive editor Dan Didio has kinda crappy taste in comic books.

This does not in the least bit surprise me.

DC’s executive editor actually liked Countdown to 52? Houston, we have a problem…

You kiddin’? Didio had a known habit of walking down the halls shouting about how much he hated 52. His preference for Countdown has been well documented far before this article.

Really it’s Identity Crisis that get me. Didio mostly loves Countdown on principle - it was very editor controlled (read: his baby), especially when compared to 52. The “DID WE MENTION DR. LIGHT LIKES RAPE? BECAUSE HE LOVES RAPE. RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE RAPE.” doesn’t have that excuse.

(Then again, I do believe it’s conception literally started with the phrase, “We need a rape,” uttered by one of DCs higher ups. Classy)

romanticfreestyle:

captainziggy:

Tiger & Bunny dub casting speculation!

Let’s see… Since this is a Sunrise/Bandai production, that means a Bang Zoom dub and the California voice actor pool. Aaaaaand start!

Kotetsu

Needs a slightly older voice, so I’m thinking Liam O’Brian or Tony Oliver. Maybe Kirk Thorton. Kirk Thorton…

…um, Ben Jackson appeared in WAY more than one episode. When the citizens were about to turn on the heroes, Ben got pissed off and told the guy in the taxi to stop insulting his friend. When Kotetsu was being chased, he ran into Ben who had his whole suit. He even teamed up with Saito near the end.

Not to mention he has that joint song with Saito in the Best of Hero soundtrack.

…so yeah.

Psst. Look at the date of the post.

Hey guys, guess who has just proven themselves to be a giant fucking nerd?

Hint: it’s me.

He originally had a Dexterity score of about 14, but then I remembered this was Revo we were talking about, so I dumpstated it. The only reason it isn’t 8 is because Revenants paradoxically get a racial bonus to it. And to Charisma. Apparently, Eberron and Forgotten Realms have some sexy, graceful zombies.

You know how the American audience is currently big on a) The Avengers and b) genre series featuring attractive men that the audience can imagine having sex doing badass things (in other words, The Avengers)?

So, hows about you get off your ass and dub Tiger & Bunny already, while your window of money-making is still open?

Seriously, Viz. You dub and distribute anime. You’ve had this license for over a year, there isn’t really a better time to have this released, and we have yet to even hear of a tentative cast list. Do your goddamned job.

isami-nyo:

what are you doing!?

-Special event niconicodouga in 2010 :’D - Nico Nico Daiundoukai

That’s what.